Why Are You Returning These Clothes?

Midway through last week I unveiled my newest blog featurette Thing's I've bought from H&M and never worn or Disposable Clothing and Me: The Forever 21 Story and today I thought I'd give you all episode number 2, that is of course if you can handle it.

Since my first post listed all the unimportant ways I wasted money, I thought today I'd go in a little different direction. This weekend I had a great brunchie date with Shaun and Ja'mie (weird name I know, but you'll get used to it). Trying to find a common ground lunchie spot in between Stuy-Town and Shaun's Murray Hill apt we wandered and wandered and played in the snow until we collectively decided that the only real restaurant in NY worth eating at is Blockheads. I don't really understand why, but Im sure I only eat there now. They have a spectacular brunch special involving all you can drink (top shelf hahaha) champagne and some mexican brunchie dishes (huevossssss rancherosssss). We ate and drank and drank and drank and sang and danced to Single Ladies on our bar stools and finally stumbled out after they ran out of champagne.

Our next stop was Shaun's work, where we ran into some friends of Ja'mie who also knew my coworkers, random random. Then we stopped at the holy grail of disposable clothing, the 5th avenue flagship h&m though I'm convinced all h&m's in this city are flagship, save that grossy one in SOHO that only has women's clothes.

Without trying clothes on I purchased an outfit, pants, shirt, sweater blah blah. As I went to the cash register I had a general question about the signs all over the store. "I'm sure these don't pertain directly to the clothing underneath, but is there any rhyme or reason to the $5 SALE $10 SALE $15 SALE signs posted all over the store?" "Well, there are clothes on SALE for $5 and $10 and $15, but the clothes near the signs aren't necessarily on sale for those prices." "Hm, okay thats what I thought. Just wanted to check...." "NO! Sir! I mean we have clothing on sale for those prices just not THOSE particular clothes! YOUR clothing is all on sale! JUST NOT FOR THOSE PRICES." "Right, right, no I get it. Thats sort of what I thought, and then when I just told you that's what I expected, I meant that I assumed correctly." ".....So....you want these clothes or not?"

After my brunch buzz turned into a brunch hangover, I just bought the clothes without trying them on knowing very well I would be returning the clothes the following day, after taking them home and realizing they don't fit me at all.

I was right. They fit as weirdly as $15 clothing should and so I headed to the Bryant Park location to return them after work. "Why are you returning these clothes sir?" "Honestly. I was really drunk when I bought them and I had no intention of actually keeping them, I just didn't feel like waiting in line to try them on."