New Year's Resolutions You Can Keep

Shaun showed me some tweeter posts this weekend that tickled me pink and I haven't really stopped laughing about them since. Obviously this time of year is cause for some reevaluation, new beginnings and all. However lofty goals tend to end up on the island of misfit dreams after plenty of people give up/lose sight/get lazy. So this year, why not try something new....Make some resolutions you'll be sure to keep.

1. Stop bringing your lunch, eat out more. We live in the cuisine capital of the world. An edible melting pot full of food options from the far regions of the globe. Why sell yourself short?
2. Sleep in later. I know what you're thinking...."how will I have enough time in the mornings if I sleep in longer?" To this I say, "Man up." You won't be bringing lunches anymore so that will save you at least 15 minutes.
3. (In accordance with resolution 2) Skip the showers. We are facing a global disaster, the more we waste the sooner we face impending doom. Save water, Go green. Sleep in longer too. ; )
4. Download more music illegally. Lets be honest, we are staring down the barrel of a gun and that gun's name is global recession. Even if you've surived cutbacks and layoffs, chances are you're still living beyond your means. Napster, where you at?
5. Spend more time drinking with your friends, less time working. If it hasn't happened yet we will all be pairing off soon and if you're anything like me, hangovers ain't getting any easier. Bottoms up! Cherish the moments that matter because soon they will be stolen by your children.
6. Eat more junk food. It tastes better. It fills you up more. Generally its cheaper.
7. Less time at the gym. For some of us these are our last years of looking good without really trying. We might as well take advantage. Plus the perspiration is bad for your complexion anyway.
8. Read less watch more. Our eyes will all eventually get bad, why speed up the process? Save yourself some wrinkles, and watch TV. (Note: the bigger TV the easier to watch so UPGRADE!)
9. Call in to work more. How many times have you finished the year with spare sick, personal or vacation days? Use them up. Will also help you spend more time drinking with friends.
10. Spend Frivolously. As I've previously mentioned we are at the pit of an economic recession, let's boost the economy, drain our savings, and start living life dangerously.
    

*This post is a product of my thoughts and efforts combined with some strangers tweets. I would totally credit sources if I could find them.